My granddaughter recently sat on Santa’s lap with her long laundry list. Afterward, while she was telling her mom how that conversation went, I thought “what the heck” and plopped my much larger posterior on the unwitting, greatly surprised and underpaid jolly fellow's lap. His confused look never got better as I emptied MY wish list to the purveyor of presents. Hey, he should know I have been a good boy this year, right? So, we started through the alphabet. St. Nicky, I started, I would like for the coming year:

Auditors who take the company’s precious inventory, who knows where the serial numbers are, how to display the hours and who know the difference between a Bush Hog, a Rhino, Cub and  Deer(e)s. A Banker who appreciates the appreciation in land and equipment. A Company who appreciates the dealer and the buffering role we play in the process of them pleasing the stockholders. Dealers who will work with each other and play fair. Engineers who would travel to OZ along with the scarecrow and would actually get a brain. 

Farmers who appreciate the dealers and their dedication to servicing them. Gravy that would appear on the bottom line with less elbow grease in the making of it. Happiness each day

as we get things done. Issues that are easily solved. Jokes that we tell that others laugh at and brightens their day. Kids that come in the showroom, climb on equipment and make buddin’ buddin’ spitting noises mimicking the sound of a powerful tractor. Laughter from a happy staff. Mechanics who always beat flat rate and tell us how great the engineers are who design the equipment we sell. Niches in the market that are profitable and scream at us to come fill them. Odd Ducks who would always buy from our competitors. Planters that would plant perfectly without a computer.

Quacks in the market who wear signs when they come around so they can be readily identified (bet you didn't think I could think of a Q word). Ransomware and Virus proof computers (ok V is out of alphabetical order  — so doc my pay). Sucks, a word we hope to never have to use again — as in after listening to someone and then have to say, “well that sucks.” Tractors that are lower in price than the competition, have more features, a longer warranty and never break down on a Friday at 4:59 p.m. UPS drivers who deliver on time, with packages that contain all the parts and never shrug the shoulders when asked, “Where is the critical next day air package you do not have?” V — covered that already, remember?

Warranties that are paid on time, without question and in excess of what it cost on the work order. X-ray vision to see everything from what is wrong inside a noisy tractor to what is going on in the head of who we are talking to. Yearly checkups from accountants and doctors who proclaim our respective good health.  And Zzzz’s — the ability to catch some, in peace and without worry.  

Some people stop here, but as in Dr. Suess and Dr. Brannon's famous speech, let us not stop at Z or Zebra — let us go “On Beyond Zebra” and think outside the dealership’s box. IF old Santa comes through, and by the fact he dozed off during my diatribe it is questionable, we will cover next time — NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTIONS...    

’Til then, wishing you miles of smiles and profits ...  a remembering of the reason for the season and a Santa that was good to all of you.

Told from the perspective of an in-the-trenches owner/operator — Tim Brannon of B&G Equipment, Paris, Tenn. —  Equipment Dealer Tips, Tales & Takeaways shares knowledge, experiences and tips/lessons with fellow rural equipment dealerships throughout North America. Covering all aspects required of an equipment dealership general manager, Brannon will inform, entertain and provide a teachable moment for current — and future — leaders within equipment dealerships.

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